Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.

We’d all like to be more resilient, but most of us struggle because our minds automatically replay bad experiences over and over again, often when we’re trying to sleep! Most of us are replaying events that happened last week, last month, and even years ago.

Training the Mind to be Resilient

Connecting people to a compelling purpose is often used to improve resilience. If you know “why” you’re doing something, you’re more likely to push through the difficulties.

While this makes sense, what if you could stop your mind from being so intensely triggered by difficulties in the first place? What if your mind identified problems, worked through them, and learned from them without so much drama? This would be the mental processing of a truly resilient person.

To reach this goal, we have to engage in mental training that enables it to happen. It’s similar to creating physical strength or endurance. One way to train the mind to be resilient is by setting expectations through the VP concept Expect the Expected

Let’s use an example to illustrate. Think of a difficult person in your life. Do you experience repetitive negative thoughts and emotions about them? Could you improve your resilience?

When dealing with difficult people, we are often “surprised” when they act in predictable ways, as if we don’t expect it.

Start to expect their typical behavior, not as a victim, but as something you can handle. It’s not a question of whether there will be difficult people in your life; it’s how you will handle them. Having proper expectations allows your mind to experience a person’s behavior with less drama and more clarity.

Try using VP’s Expect the Expected with a difficult person and notice the impact on your resilience and stress level. 

Once you get your expectations right, it’s much easier to “Control the Controllable” and focus on a productive way to approach and respond to difficult people.

Consider the impact these concepts can have on all the emotional triggers in your life and its impact on people in your organization. Email to learn more.